I admit right now that the stuffed dog on wheels has nothing to do with anything. But one day he might. You never can tell.
Inner potential, that’s the real topic here. I’m certainly not sure there’s any in me. I suspect that my innards are devoid of anything.
Everything. I’m trying to write and I can’t. My inner muse or well of inspiration or whatever, is now nothing but a puddle of mud.
I wondered if a self-help guide might help. Although I don’t want my own self-help, I want someone else to help. Actually I guess I want someone else to write my ‘book words’ for me.
The trouble with this book is I am already full of fear and personally I think it’s plain dangerous to do something you know for sure is scary. That’s why it’s scary. To stop you from doing it. Sensible really. Protective.
So this book is no help at all.
Apparently I do have an inner genius, really I do. There’s lots about it on the internet. I have to find it, that’s all. Unlock it. So I turn to my store of images which I gather as I go about the world, hoping one day they will become something. Anything. Since I always find doors inspiring and interesting here are a few of my favourites. They might give you inspiration. But these doors are . . .
Locked. Maybe for ever.
I’ve got more photos. I’ve got these fascinating boxes, surely full of wonderful ideas and exciting plots:
What are those two chaps hiding in there? Are they smiling? I’m sure they look smug. I have the feeling they know the secret of how to write a good book and they’ve got it locked up in there and won’t tell.
And what’s inside this 15th century iron cask? The secret to the Universe? The best plot in the world?
And although I have some extraordinary keys -
guess what – they don’t unlock anything.
So back to the self-help books. “How to be Happy” Impossible. It’ll never happen. “How to write your novel in one year!” That’s far too long. I want it done by the end of the week. “The Easy Way to Write.” That’s just lies – there isn’t one. “Everything I know about Writing.” Fine, but you know it, you’re successful, stop showing off. I know nothing. I can’t write a thing.
Finally I take the plunge and write my very own self-help guide. A must for all would be novelists. It’s called “The Only Way To Write“by Rebecca Lisle. Because there is only one me and only one way to write. And the best thing about it is it won’t take long to read and it really does work!
There is one page of credits and acknowledgments:
Firstly, I thank myself for all the hard work I’ve put into this book, myself for being my constant support and critic, myself for never giving up hope and belief in me and myself for feeding me constant cups of coffee and buns. I will never forget you.
On the following page the advice begins. And ends.
Stop faffing around and get on with it.